Saturday, 17 March 2018

Another Puppet Show

Hello punters, I mean voters,

Are you feeling happy or sad at present?

Do you need cheering up, calming down or a simple explanation?

When only half of the House of Assembly ballot papers were counted, did you know the 2018 South Australian state election result was called by Antony Green of the ABC?

Does Mr Green know something about the other half of voters that the Australian Electoral Commission does not?

Is he a Russian agent?

Have Mr Putin's agents hacked the ABC's election computer?

Has Sally Zou gained power in her own right?

My name is Una Versity of the Australian Humour Rights Commission.  I am meant to keep an open mind on most aspects of Australian culture but the Adelaide Fringe and the South Australian state election campaign have had too much in common with each other this year.

What is going on?

Have you looked at the ABC's electoral computational machine?

Like Mr Green, I am a highly trained psephologist.  I am also an expert on the history of political profiteering, puppeteering and prophesying.  Such knowledge is essential when making a proper analysis of election results.

One of my main investigative interests, at present, involves minor political parties.  Most of them do not have effective strategies to win lower house seats, and most of their candidates are probably not at all interested in doing so, anyway.

In South Australia, minor parties are mostly interested in claiming or reclaiming eight years of political power in the Legislative Council.  That way, they can interact mainly with people who think like they do, except for the people they treat as enemies in the Legislative Council itself.

No-one in the domineering media appears to want to know about minor parties unless their leaders behave like entertainers.

It is known that, in both houses of the Parliament of South Australia, members of both the LayBore Party and the LobbyRule Party have as many enemies within their own ranks as within the ranks of their political opponents.

Both parties are keen on puppetry in front of the media, though the puppeteer for the Marshall puppet often forgets to turn up.  Have you ever wondered why he has such a bland exterior?

Here are a few questions you may wish to put to the new sock puppet premier of South Australia:

1. Where do you intend to look for your imagination in the year ahead?

2. When will you stop sniffing the smell of success?

3. What did you do on day four of the 2018 World Enlightenment Forum?

4. How will you be assisting science for ladies?

5. What were your main contributions to the Twaklinesque Decorum Forum?

6. What is your strategy for responding wisely to voter antipathy?

It is now just past 10pm in the Adelaidezone.

64% of the House of Assembly votes have been counted.

The percentages of first preference votes are as follows:

37.4% Liberals
33.8% Labor
13.8% SA Best
6.6% Greens

32% of the Legislative Council votes have been counted.

The percentages of first preference votes are as follows:

31.8% Liberals
29.6% Labor
18.9% SA Best
5.6% Greens

Will the future be another puppet show or will the voters of South Australia have a little more influence on the policy agenda than they have had in the past?

Perhaps the answers will be found on Twitter:

So, what will happen to mental health in South Australia now?

Will there be proper care for people in crisis, and proper support for mental wellbeing through all policies, or will there only be puppet shows for lobbyists?

Let the next comedy commence.